When I first started attending AA meetings, I thought that my problem was “just alcohol”. I understood that I had a drinking problem, but I thought that the rest of my life was ok. I still had a roof over my head, most of my bills were paid, and I had a decent job.
When I came to AA, I was practicing as a healthcare provider in my community. I asked for help in my profession, and they were very kind in providing help. I attended a Twelve-Step meeting of people in my profession, and they helped me find a detox and a rehab.
I did have an unusual situation when I left rehab. I was asked, as a condition of continuing employment in my profession, to sign a “recovery contract”. In order to continue practicing my profession, I had to agree to:
attend 90 meetings in 90 days
provide 2-3 urine screens weekly
see a therapist one on one
go to group therapy
see a monitor from my profession at least once a month
provide a written summary report of my recovery activity once a month
In order to maintain my professional license (and my career and my income) I had to agree to do all ofthose things for three years. I was really unhappy about having to do all of those things, but I didn’t really have a choice. My boss knew about my alcoholism, and signing the contract was the only way I could keep my job.
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I did all of the things required of my contract (and a lot more). I attended hundreds of meetings in those first three years, provided every urine screen, attended every therapy appointment, and showed up every place I was supposed to show up to.
When the contract was coming up to the end of its three year period, I could not wait to go to the first AA meeting that wasn’t required. I couldn’t wait to demonstrate to others, and myself, that I was serious about sobriety. I couldn’t wait for “the training wheels to come off”.
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I sometimes speak in paradoxes, and I am about to do so again.
I was not happy at all about having to sign that recovery contract. And I am so grateful that I did.
That recovery contract provided discipline in my life at a time that I sorely lacked discipline. That contract forced me to go places that i might not have gone on my own.
Discipline is defined as “orderly or prescribed conduct or pattern of behavior”. It was prescribed for me that I was supposed to show up certain places. Had that contract not been in place, I might not have survived.
If you’re thinking “wait—a contract? That sounds weird”, or “I totally disagree with the idea of a contract”, let me ask you the following questions. Suppose the pilot of your airplane is a recovering alcoholic. Do you want to know that that pilot is sober? Or are you willing to take a chance with your life? Suppose that the pediatric anesthesiologist for your child is in recovery, and is about to administer anesthesia to your child—do you want that anesthesiologist to be sober?
Of course you do. You may not think about it, but there are people who have healthcare jobs or transportation jobs who get sober and stay sober. And you and I have a right to know that, while they are practicing their professions, that they are sober.
That was the belief of the profession I was in when I got sober in 1990. I didn’t agree with them then, but I agree with them now.
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On page 88 of the book Alcoholics Anonymous, it says “we alcoholics are undisciplined”. That is so true.
We really are. How do we get help for this? Right after, the book states “so we let God discipline us in the simple way we have just outlined”, which refers to the steps discussed in the chapter Into Action
(steps 4-11).
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I realize that this essay may be provocative. Most people in recovery are in a situation where they ‘do things “on their own”. They are not in professions where they are required to sign contracts, and they don’t have discipline required of them.
At the same time, most people coming into the rooms of twelve step programs don’t get sober and stay sober.
I’d rather have had required discipline (and stay sober) than not have required discipline (and not stay sober).
With Love,
The Recovering Urchin
P.S. Do you like The Recovering Urchin? Let me know at therecoveringurchin@gmail.com. Please tell your friends, and remember to sign up for my e-mail list so that I can deliver this content straight to your inbox.
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April 2019
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December 2018
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November 2018
- Nov 23, 2018 This I Believe Nov 23, 2018
- Nov 12, 2018 Guest post: Grace, compassion and the stink of the soul -- part one Nov 12, 2018
- Nov 7, 2018 The Importance of Home Groups Nov 7, 2018
- Nov 5, 2018 The Law of Averages Nov 5, 2018
- Nov 1, 2018 Guest post: A List Of Stupid Things That Mess Up Recovery Nov 1, 2018
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October 2018
- Oct 29, 2018 Guest post: Grace within Oct 29, 2018
- Oct 28, 2018 Guest post: My ugly, unvarnished truth Oct 28, 2018
- Oct 27, 2018 Staying Sober in Dark Times Oct 27, 2018
- Oct 24, 2018 I Am Responsible Oct 24, 2018
- Oct 23, 2018 The Opioid Epidemic Oct 23, 2018
- Oct 21, 2018 The Challenge of Being an Introvert in Alcoholics Anonymous Oct 21, 2018
- Oct 20, 2018 Physical Pain And Spiritual Pain Oct 20, 2018
- Oct 18, 2018 My 38th Street Bridge Blackout Oct 18, 2018
- Oct 10, 2018 Who are you? Oct 10, 2018
- Oct 9, 2018 Guest post: Zen Spot #155 — Mindfulness, meditation and letting sleeping dogs lie Oct 9, 2018
- Oct 8, 2018 The Taping Pit Oct 8, 2018
- Oct 7, 2018 The Lou Gehrig of Recovery Oct 7, 2018
- Oct 6, 2018 Guest post: Zen Spot #161 — Mindfulness, meditation, the Beastie Boys, potato salad, the number 12 and a phone call from a Buddhist monk Oct 6, 2018
- Oct 6, 2018 The Cathedral of Chartres Oct 6, 2018
- Oct 5, 2018 Guest post: Addiction and spirituality Oct 5, 2018
- Oct 4, 2018 Meetings When I Travel Oct 4, 2018
- Oct 3, 2018 Why Discipline Matters Oct 3, 2018
- Oct 2, 2018 Meditations on Anonymity Oct 2, 2018
- Oct 1, 2018 Guest post: Zen Spot #36 — Mindfulness, meditation, autopilot and the internal gyroscope Oct 1, 2018
- Oct 1, 2018 This Is Our Plague Oct 1, 2018
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September 2018
- Sep 29, 2018 Guest post: Zen Spot #143— Mindfulness, meditation and the intersection of Broad and Vine Sep 29, 2018
- Sep 29, 2018 Seven Things My Sponsor Suggested Sep 29, 2018
- Sep 27, 2018 Guest post: The Opioid Crisis—Personal Responsibility, Choice, and the Law Sep 27, 2018
- Sep 24, 2018 Page 87 Sep 24, 2018
- Sep 20, 2018 Humility Sep 20, 2018
- Sep 17, 2018 Honesty Sep 17, 2018
- Sep 10, 2018 The Purity of the Message Sep 10, 2018
- Sep 3, 2018 Recovery Resources Sep 3, 2018
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August 2018
- Aug 28, 2018 What’s The Problem?! Aug 28, 2018
- Aug 17, 2018 Roll Call Aug 17, 2018
- Aug 17, 2018 I Don’t Know Aug 17, 2018
- Aug 17, 2018 I Need Help Aug 17, 2018
- Aug 17, 2018 I Was Wrong Aug 17, 2018
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July 2018
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