I heard someone say at a meeting that three of the most spiritual things she had learned
were:
I need help
I was wrong
I don’t know
I certainly need help. I need help staying sober. I have had that demonstrated to me again and again. At the end of my active alcoholism, I tried to quit drinking, once and for all (I mean it this time!) four different times. Four different times I stopped temporarily.
The first time I stopped, I lasted about a week. The last time I stopped, I couldn’t make it through 24 hours. When I was finally introduced to Alcoholics Anonymous, a gentleman shared his story, and explained to me what worked for him (the Twelve Steps). He also explained to me that he attended AA meetings frequently, and that meeting attendance helped him to stay sober.
I listened to him, I followed his advice, and I haven’t had a drink or a drug since that date. That was May 2, 1990.
Frequent attendance at AA meetings helps me to stay sober. I need the experience, strength and hope that I find at every AA meeting.
I need help with more than only the “not drinking”. I need help and direction in how I live my life. I wrote an essay entitled “Role Models”. I have four role models, and they show me how to live through their actions. They show me how to be the best father, husband, son, employee, and member of AA that I can be. They show me because they are the best parents, spouses, employees, and sober people that I know.
They truly are role models.
When I was young, I remember saying “I can do it myself”. That may have been an acceptable strategy when I was a toddler, but it doesn’t work for me anymore. I have no problem asking for help with car maintenace, lawn mowing, income tax preparation, or medical advice. But for some reason, I sometimes think it is a good idea to “go it alone” on really important things. In the book Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, there is a passage that states “It is worth noting that people of very high spiritual development almost always insist on checking with friends or spiritual advisers the guidance they feel they have received from God”.
If people of very high spiritual development can ask for help, why can’t I?
With Love,
The Recovering Urchin
