Several years ago, one of my colleagues sent an email to his boss’s boss. He sent the email in anger. The email was typed in capital letters, with multiple colored fonts. Some of it wasn’t very nice. There were curse words and accusations. He lost his job the next day.
My guess is that he regretted hitting the “Send” button on that email.
One of my friends in the program likes to say “let’s think about Page 87” when things get heated. Anytime there is a clash of personalities, or someone gets upset, he says “it’s Page 87 time!”
He is referring to a passage in the book Alcoholics Anonymous, on (you guessed it) page 87, that states “…we pause, when agitated or doubtful, and ask for the right thought or action”. A couple of sentences later it says “we are then in much less danger of excitement, fear, anger, worry, self-pity or foolish decisions”.
My guess is that the colleague who sent the email in different color fonts (and lost his job) would have benefited from pausing.
I attended a training course at work a few years ago, and they described “the 24 hour rule”. The idea was that any time I see an email that makes me want to yell, I should wait 24 hours before responding. In other words, I should pause. (By the way, I am convinced that World War III is going to start with an email).
In our society, we put so much emphasis on acting quickly, on responding right now. That makes a lot of sense if you work in an emergency room, but for the rest of us, it pays to wait sometimes.
I use this tool at home a lot. I will ask for a day to think about something (“can I think about this overnight and get back to you?”), and I wait. That gives me time to ask my sponsor, or one of my role models. I can pray and meditate. Whatever I do, if I take my time, I avoid some foolish decisions this way.
Just after the text on page 87, at the top of page 88, is a one sentence paragraph:
“It works -it really does”.
They were right. It really does.
With Love,
The Recovering Urchin
