Several years ago, I made a list of all the people I knew who had 30+ years of sobriety. I referred to these people as “oldtimers”. My list was a small one at the time. I knew five people who had 30-40 years of sobriety, and two people had 40+ years of sobriety. That meant that I knew seven people with at least 30 years of continuous sobriety. (I had met a couple of people who had more, but only met them once or twice, and didn’t know them on a first name basis).
I decided to ask these seven oldtimers the following question: “what is the most important thing in your life?”
I have asked a lot of people this question. I have asked people in the rooms of AA, and I have also asked work colleagues, relatives, and friends who are not in recovery. It is a great conversation starter at a party or a work function. I have heard many answers, like “my spouse”, “my children”, “my pet”, “my career”, and many others. And all of those answers are correct. There is no right or wrong answer. Whatever your answer is, is the most important thing in your life.
When I asked the seven oldtimers what the most important thing was in their lives, they all said “my recovery” or “my sobriety”. (One fellow did say “my relationship with my Higher Power”, but I think that is close enough). None of them said “my career” or “my investment portfolio”. They all mentioned recovery.
I think that it is significant that all of the people I knew who had long term sobriety said that their recovery was the most important thing in their lives.
A couple of weeks later, I realized that I had to ask these seven oldtimers another question. I went back to them, and I shared with each of them that they all answered the “most important thing” question the same.
Then I asked each of them, “how did recovery become the most important thing in your life?” Within 60 seconds, all seven of them mentioned working the Twelve Steps.
Several years have passed since I asked these questions of the seven oldtimers. Luckily for me, I now know five people with 40+ years of continuous sobriety, and another twenty-five people with 30+ years of sobriety.
I have asked all of these people the same “most important thing” question, and always receive the same answer.
I know that recovery from alcoholism is supposed to be done “a day at a time”. So I hope that I do not offend you with what I am about to say. Someday, I want to be an oldtimer with 50 or 60 years of continuous sobriety. That looks really attractive to me.
I believe that the way for that to happen is that my recovery must be the most important thing in my life. I also believe that I need to continue working the twelve steps in my life, a day at a time.
With Love,
The Recovering Urchin
